Lost Between These Walls

No home and no job.  I am ensconced in chaos.  I'd like to feel I wear it well, but I fear I am not the person I wish I was.  I am a seeker of freedom and no walls enclose me, yet I am litterally building them up as you read this.  Everything we create must be maintained.  Man's creation requires his constant re-creation of creation.  

Just as the pyramids are slowly grinding down into sand, so my identity slowly disintegrates even as I try to grasp at the grains as they fly away.

I cannot re-create what I thought I was, but I still long for the illusion of that past self...

It used to be that I looked towards the immediacy of the future and saw myself in everything -saw everything as myself, saw God, saw Identity, saw One.  Now I look forward and see nothing - uncertainty, Being, Void. 

Buddhists try to rid themselves of ego.  "No-self"they call it.  But the most enlightened among them admit that this is impossible.  Even the egoless always has a minimal presence.  A minimal ego that lets there be an attaining of "no-self".  The smaller the ego, the harder it is to shatter.  If it shatters, however, the void bears down that much harder and the seeker of light finds darkness that much more blinding...

Dreamself

Sorry I have been MIA for a while.  Here are some more song lyrics I've written.



They say
That when you are awake
That you are you
And I am me

But they say
That when you are dreaming
That you everything
'Cause your mind creates all that it sees


But what if I told you
That it never changes
'Cause when you awaken
You're still dreaming
And the world that surrounds you
Is all that you are
Cause the mind that percieves it
Arises from everything

And your life is the world's dream


But sometimes
Your mind runs in circles
And the love that's between us
Seems so far away
And the future expanding
Along with your past
Takes you away from the present
And all that you are here and now

And I wrote this song for you

Cause your life is the dream of the world
And your life is the world's dream

Meeting A Stranger For The First Time

Another song for you... still no recording though.  In the meantime I'll give you another song:

Meeting  A Stranger For The First Time

Walk down these streets while their feet and their faces

pass me by

They move as if they’re in a trance or as if I’m not

Really here

And I look into their eyes

And they look away

Cars driving up to the stoplights

Honk in their rush to get away

The streetlamps block out the moonlight

And I’m left here waiting for a sign….

And you appear under streetlamp’s glare

And In your eyes

I see you there

Noise from the city surrounds us with movement

But for me everything is still

An unspoken feeling, surrounding, expanding

To you, and me, the city…

And I’ve always lived for these moments

Where everything falls into place

Nothing between us but silence

No words could pierce our gaze

[bridge]

And you walk towards me

And my eyes can feel the touch of your smile

A dream all around us

As you walk by

[bridge]

I feel your smile though you dissolve into the crowd

City’s rhythm pulls you away into the emptiness of the streets

And I turn around

As you walk away

And the birds calling out from the rooftops

Tell me what I felt wasn't there

And I’m left here standing in silence

As the city pulls me away...

And you turn around….

Bitcoin

I've decided to start taking any and all donations in bitcoin starting immediately. I've been watching bitcoin for a few years now and have become more and more excited about it the more I learn about it. Bitcoin is a de-centralized, open-source crypto-currency. Bitcoin is fantastic because it is not dependent on any one institution and thus has no hierarchy (for example, a hierarchy of the government above the people) inherent to its structure.

 Here's an annoying video to explain everything to you

 In many ways, Bitcoin is like Gold:

 I do not believe that gold and bitcoin are really in competition. Rather, I think that bitcoin is in competition with central bank paper.  It provides a peer to peer alternative to paper promises issued by a centralized authority.  One can literally walk up to someone on the street, and exchange physical gold for digital bitcoin.   I believe this currency could make the entire banking industry obsolete in the long run, since one no longer needs to trust the institution issuing paper.  Rather, this trust is placed in cryptography as well as the bitcoin network which is so vast, taking it down would be, like the man in the video says, like taking down the internet.

Gold is money: it provides the store of value, safe from counterparty risk.  While Bitcoin functions as currency: instant, digital, easily transactable and highly portable.  Both of them are anonymous and neither of them is dependent on a centralized institution for their existence.


Right now bitcoin is in its early stages and is extremely speculative and volatile.  I am not posting this, encouraging you to put your savings into bitcoin but rather, I am posting this as a show of support for bitcoin itself.


If you're new to this blog you might want to check out some of my poetry.


Anyway, if you like what you read here, drop some BTC in the bucket!

Sol Invictus

Sol Invictus

For a moment it was all I felt:

The dawn,

Ephemeral

As its young wavering light,

Touched my eyes…

For a moment I was there:

My eyes,

No longer mine,

Dissolved into the light

In the rapture of their rays…

For a moment everything was perfect:

The trees

Silhouetted on the horizon

Waved their branches

Beckoning me to forget my boundaries…

For a moment I was nothing

For a moment I was everything

For a moment I was completely present…

First Bike Ride

First Bike Ride

my hand wraps around the handle

like a nostalgic  mind holding on to a memory:

caught up in a futility it refuses to recognize

grasping too tightly

so that the knuckles turn white

but still unable to keep it from slipping away...

Time: New Revelations

Time: The Vulgar Understanding (Hegel, Dialectic)
Present burns forward
In its eternal struggle
To light dark futures

Time: The Christian Must Shed His Veil (Michel Henry)
God gives present In
A moment not meant for us
Until we meet it